For the last few days, I've been packing for my move to single ville in SLO town. With every box filled to the rim of all things I love, I am lighter by the day. I am excited for my fresh start. There have been TWO things on my bucket list that I have yet to master and guess what? I am finally...WILLING.
1. "Simplicity, Simplicity, Simplicity"
I have been the most nostalgic pack rat since forever. Put it this way...I still have my diary from fourth grade and letters from friends saying, "W/B." I have always liked this quality about me, and my memory of how The Way We Were often haunts my life with illusory romanticism. My friends have counted on me to remember how the conversations went down, spilling out the intricacies of who did what and when. Details, most definitely morphed, making the stories funnier and more dramatic than our days of Splendor In The Grass. I have given countless homemade gifts to my sister girls with mementos taped to hand written letters and sealed with a heart. I have cut out photographs, shaped in hearts, using a sharpie to write B/F/F curved over our heads. We'd cry and remember when...
Matches from every wedding I've attended? Uh...of course. Who am I to throw away the give-away that the bride spent hours toiling over? Movie tickets? Yes, if the movie was THAT good or a first date. Jewelry? Even outdate, gold, and gaudy? Yes, especially if it was given as a gift. Shall I go on?
I have become an under cover hoarder. Somehow, these things seem to make me feel as though I have some control, some value, some assurance that life was/is worth living.
Now, I am faced with what to do. To keep or not to keep? That is the question of my day.
Recently, I saw an old friend and "thought" we would have more to say. My memories were so vivid, consisting of rainbows, clouds, and sunshine. The union was...well...BLAH. Nothing there. Gone. Dead. And to think that in all this time, I was creating one illusion after another of what it could have been. What a waste of the present moment.
"I am discovering how my conscious dominating addictions create my illusory version of the changing world of people and situations around me."
-Ken Keyes Jr.
So, as I move to SLO, I will take what I love and leave the rest. The only moment that is real is NOW. A bright, squeaky-clean, slate. My intention is to relish in the Feng Shui existence of "Simplicity, Simplicity, Simplicity." AND, open my heart through the door of possibilities...
Time to go pack some more, so I will write about NUMBER TWO tomorrow...
With all my heart,